Can I admit something? I'm not much of a reviewer. I don't like rating things at all, actually. It's stressful! I overthink them! Why would I want something that stresses me out on my beautiful Neocities website? That said, I love talking and talking about whatever the fuck, so here is a site of mini-essays on things I've experienced lately.
To reiterate: please don't expect any actual ratings on here. Or reviews, for that matter. It's all just me yapping. Sorry. You will come out of this with new recommendations, at least!
This is one of those games that you have to go into absolutely blind, so if you're here, haven't been spoiled somehow, and have even a small inkling of intrigue, go and play this game. I'm serious. Here is the game on Steam. Close this tab right now. Go on, get. Come back with a warrant.
All set?
I'm dead serious when I say I wish I had that experience. Unfortunately, my first exposure to MOUTHWASHING was the Twitter fandom, something I wouldn't wish upon my biggest enemy. Let me paint you a picture: Imagine you're me, sitting in class, scrolling on your phone under the desk. You like a few fanarts of Pathologic (you had recently just gotten back into it, on account of the Bachelor Route finally getting released) and Fear & Hunger (you never played it, it just looks cool). Upon refreshing the feed, there is suddenly a skinless man upon your screen. A bit disturbed, you like the post anyway; shit, you think, it's really well-rendered anyhow. Scrolling further you see art of a gruff looking dude in a uniform bridal-carrying the same skinless man from earlier.
Refreshing the feed again gives you entirely differently worded posts. Now people are deriding the yaoi fanart you just liked five minutes ago. Well, fuck me I guess. Nevertheless, people are writing thinkpieces spanning multiple posts about hating Jimmy (the gruff guy, you suppose) and defending Curly (he's skinless, how does he have that name?). Next post has the writer penning the skinless guy as an asshole too, actually, which is hard to believe on account of the lack of skin. The post past that behemoth of a thread is someone telling everyone to STOOOOPPP FIGHTIIINGGGG!, which honestly just seems reductive.
You are beginning to think this is giving you the wrong impression of whatever piece of art this is fanart of. And what the hell does any of this have to do with mouthwash?
I'd like to preface this (which is a strong word, considering my previous rambling) by saying this will not at all be coherent. I guess that's appropriate, considering the vibes of the game. Though the biggest reason is that I played this in one sitting on November 16. It is now December 30 (well, January 31 as of the latest edit). Sorry. I got sidetracked (and busy with school, but I don't want to think about that on break).
Once I finally got around to playing this game—which, by the way, came out on September 27, according to Steam. That is ridiculous. How was there so much discourse surrounding a then-month-old game?—I loved it. Seriously, the story, how it was told, the vibes in general... it felt like it was made for me! Right up my alley. That being said, it is extremely good in its own right. Hopefully you heeded my warnings and played the game yourself (I will be spoiling, apologies. And I meant it when I said you should go into this spoiler-free.) because then you'll know what I'm talking about. It's not for everyone, of course, especially regarding the heavy subject matter. But I have not seen a negative review that I agreed with, at least on some level. This is now a plea to you: if you have recommendations of games similar to MOUTHWASHING, please let me know. I will appreciate and love you forever.
Enough of that. Let's get onto my actual thoughts on the game. This is your last warning. SPOILERS AHEAD!
GAMEPLAY: I have to admit, I'm not a big gamer. Not by a longshot. The only games I've played for over twenty hours are maybe Minecraft, the PS4 Spider-Man games, Tomodachi Life, and the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney trilogy. Of course, I've mentioned Pathologic, but I'll be the first to say that I started playing the Classic Bachelor route in 2022 and still haven't finished it over two years later. I'm on Day 6. Sorry, Dankovsky. All this to say that MOUTHWASHING being a linear, one-ending, almost visual novel-esque game was perfect for me. There were puzzles and the like, but they weren't too difficult, and the most trouble I had with the game was the chase scene with the invisible horse. I was on voice call with friends (another thing I don't recommend) and they were yelling at me the whole time. It was humiliating. I am not good at video games, this is not the fault of the developer.
That said, this being the peak gaming experience to me does not mean it will be the same to you. In fact, that's one of the criticisms I see the most: that the game is written well and has a compelling story, but the gameplay leaves much to be desired. Which is fair. I disagree, but it's fair. I do think that the gameplay served the story quite well, but I understand how some people like capital-G Gaming, or if they weren't too into the story and looking for something else to hold their attention. Again, I don't agree, but I see the perspective. To that I say: get good. (I'm kidding.)
VISUALS: Whether you like it or not, the visuals make or break a game, especially one as story-heavy as this one. Alas, the visuals were fucking awesome. I adore the character designs. Every one is distinct—of course, there's only five of them, but still. Every character wears their personality on their uniforms, for example; their undershirts are different, they wear the jackets differently. Anya's design is my favorite, I think. Everyone and their mothers said that she looks like Shelley Duvall, which is true, and part of why she seems so intriguing to begin with. She's meant to be plain (through the eyes of our protagonists, anyway) yet bits of her personality still shine through; I mean, a fun, multi-colored, striped shirt is fun, right?
But that's just one aspect of the visuals, I'm afraid. The PS1-style graphics (or whatever the kids call it these days) might be off-putting to some, another critique I've seen, but in all honesty I think it only elevates the experience. Things feel off, not quite right, and that style of graphics help hammer the uneasiness home, in my opinion. The low-resolution especially shines during the creepy dream sequence-y parts of the game. You know what they say about horror: it's scariest when you don't show the monster, or something. The obscurity of some of the monsters, sometimes making you second guess what it truly is, only drives the unsettling nature into your skull. Things are not right. More importantly, what are we even looking at?! I think this was most apparent with the ultrasound scene. I didn't even realize it was a horse fetus until looking at it much closer (which I hesitated to do, obviously). But the graphics aren't the scariest part of the game, no sir, not at all.
SOUND DESIGN: Jesus Christ some of those sound effects made me shit my pants. The effects were lessened since, as I mentioned, I was on call with friends (in my defense, we were voice acting the lines out! I was Anya, naturally), but I can't lie and say I didn't jump out of my seat during the vent chase scene. I like to think I'm good with jumpscares, but that shit was startling, to say the least. Another segment was the invisible horse storage area scene, which I talked about earlier in the gameplay section. Your footsteps are deafening, especially when you run. Instead of being annoying, it just gets your heart pumping, I can't even explain why. Another fun aspect is how there is no voice acting at all, except for Curly's whimpers in pain and Polle the stupid fucking cartoon horse. Jesus Polle was unnerving. It just goes to show how sound design is extremely important, especially in a horror game, especially one with no spoken dialogue. I don't have much else to say. The soundtrack is also very good.
Right. Um. The story.
The story is very good.
I can't begin to criticize or praise it. The subject matter is very sensitive, and it's simply not my place. However. As it is a very character-focused game, I think we can start there. With the characters. So. Um. Please don't get mad at me. (I mean, I'm right anyway, but feel free to disagree regardless) (and anyway, what is there to say that hasn't been said before?)
SWANSEA: Quite a high bar, but I think he's possibly one of the least interesting characters in MOUTHWASHING, maybe next to Daisuke (we'll get to him in due time, don't worry). I'm sure Swansea has his fans, and his monologue at the end directed to Jimmy is one of the most haunting things I've ever read, but he just isn't all that interesting to me! He doesn't play a big role in the story and doesn't really get in the way of either of the protagonists. He's just there. I'm sorry, I really am, because I do like him. He has some of the funniest lines in the game, his dynamic with Daisuke is really fun to watch... but other than that, there's not much else. Wait, no, I lied. There's his family man attitude.
Swansea's family macho-man shtick is a very small, almost inconsequential part of the story. Though, nothing is inconsequential when it comes to larger themes. Regardless, you can draw interesting parallels between this aspect of his and Jimmy's whole thing (more on that later). I also think about his alcoholism monologue a lot. I've never struggled with addiction, not like that, but it just strikes a chord with me. I get it, but I don't. Swansea gets that Jimmy is a dangerous, heinous man, but he doesn't. So it goes.
DAISUKE: The fan favorite, the people's princess, and it's not hard to see why. Any The Magnus Archives fans out there? He reminds me so much of Tim Stoker, and not necessarily in a good way. A character like Daisuke is naturally predisposed to mischaracterization: take a happy-go-lucky, Hawaiian-shirt-wearing, somewhat womanizing guy, put him under extreme duress, and you get...? It doesn't help that he's the baby of the group, literally the youngest and an intern (what kinda fucked up alternate universe is this that they're letting interns go on intergalactic missions? And does it pay well and can I join?), and that he has a somewhat father-son dynamic going on with Swansea. Of course people are drawn to him. He has an appealing, fun to draw character design, and he's kind of a one note character, so he's easy to characterize.
I'm sorry. Again, it's been a while since I played the game, so I could be misremembering. But nothing Daisuke did in this game stuck with me at all. He's funny and nice, sure, but he honestly could have been a fly on the wall for most of the scenes. There were implications on his character, of course—if there weren't, why include him at all? But other than his bubbly personality I found him to be dull. A lot of inaction, standing there worried, but not quite enough to be doing anything about it. But I suppose that was the point. It's that concept I see in the comments of made up Reddit posts: weaponized incompetence (though it's probably subconscious or unintentional). Daisuke is young. He does not know what's happening. He calls on the help of his superiors. This is normal, this makes sense. Something goes wrong. He is the first to arrive at the scene. Yet, still, he calls on someone else to fix it. Better yet, if he doesn't see it, or if he objects to it happening, it didn't happen. Or it's for the greater good.
(I'm sorry, it's 3:51 AM right now. This review is only going to get more incomprehensible.)
CURLY: Now we're getting into the meat of it! No pun intended. Curly is a fascinating creature to me, and probably the most polarizing character in the game. Consensus on Twitter is divided: either you see him as unequivocally good, or somewhat evil. Or you treat him like he's a brain-dead thing you keep around as a pet. Funnily, I think this highlights the game's thesis even further. So, uh, congratulations, fandom; you only proved the point! Good job. Hit the showers.
Curly is a dichotomy. There's a reason people describe him as pre-crash and post-crash, after all, and it's not just because of his character design (though that might be most of why). I DONT KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS LOL?
JIMMY: I sincerely think he's the most fascinating character in the game.
ANYA:
FINAL THOUGHTS: This game is very good, and I’ve realized how shit I am at writing reviews of any kind. I put this off for, like, two months, and in actuality, I am writing this at 1AM on a school night. I have a math test tomorrow. Anyway, I highly recommend MOUTHWASHING! It's a glorified walking simulator, so you don't need any gaming skillz at all—if I was able to beat it, so can you. Just make sure to pay attention and stay away from the dreaded fandom. It's notorious for a reason.